“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13 (NKJV)
Dear Sister,
I am writing to you as someone who understands sexual trauma not from theory, but from lived experience. I know what it is to carry wounds that do not stop at what happened to the body. Trauma reaches into how we see ourselves, how safe we feel with others, and how we show up in spaces that once felt familiar.
I am not writing to instruct you or explain to you. I am here to walk with you. To be present in the places where identity feels unclear and where you are learning how to see yourself again through God’s eyes.
If you are here, reading this, you are not alone.
When Trauma Touches Identity
Sexual trauma does not stay in one moment. It affects how the body reacts, how the mind stays alert, and how the heart learns to protect itself.
This can show up as a feeling of distance from yourself, from others, and even from groups. You may find yourself watching instead of resting, guarding instead of connecting, or feeling disconnected without fully knowing why.
This is not a failure of faith.
It is a response to harm.
When something painful happens, the body learns to stay alert to keep you safe. Sometimes it keeps doing that even when the danger has passed. That does not mean anything is wrong with you. It means your body learned how to survive.
Healing Was Secured at the Cross
Healing did not begin with our questions.
Healing began with Jesus.
Scripture tells us:
“For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.” Hebrews 10:14 (NKJV)
The word perfected in this passage comes from the Greek word teleioō, which means to complete, to finish fully, to bring to its intended end. It speaks to the work Christ accomplished, not to the pace or experience of our journey.
Jesus also said:
“I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.” John 17:4 (NKJV)
What was required for our healing was accomplished through Christ. What we are walking out now is not something we earn or create, but something we live into because of what He has already done.
Your presence here is not proof that healing has failed.
It is evidence that you are still walking in what Jesus finished.
God’s Knowledge of You Was Never Disrupted
One of the quiet lies trauma can whisper is that something about you changed forever in God’s eyes.
Scripture tells us otherwise.
“Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:16 (NKJV)
God saw you before trauma.
God saw you during trauma.
God sees you now.
His knowledge of you was never interrupted.
Seen by Jesus
There is a story in Scripture that speaks gently to this truth.
In Luke 7, Jesus encounters a woman who has lost her only son. She does not ask for help. She does not speak. She is simply seen.
“When the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep”.” Luke 7:13 (NKJV)
Jesus saw her grief before she spoke.
He acknowledged her pain before anyone else intervened.
And He moved toward her with compassion.
He did not rush her.
He did not question her faith.
He was present.
And healing followed His presence.
He is present.
Identity Is Rediscovered in Love
Identity is not reclaimed through effort.
It is rediscovered through safety, truth, relationship, and through the love story God has already written to us in His Word.
Scripture is not something we perform.
It is something we return to.
God’s Word reminds us of who He is, and in doing so, gently restores our understanding of who we are.
My Moment of Reflection
As someone who is still on this journey, I have learned that my reactions were not signs of failure. My body was not betraying me. God was not disappointed in my pace, in spite of what others may have thought, said, or believed.
God’s faithfulness was steady even when understanding came slowly.
A Gentle Pause
There is nothing to fix.
You are already walking out your healing.
You are here.
You are reading this.
“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)
God finishes what He starts.
Your healing is not fragile.
It is held.
With love and truth,
Jane Coy
Still on the Journey Ministries
Join the Journey
This ministry is a labor of love and a bridge for those still on their journey. If these words have met you where you are, join the journey by supporting the work:
You can Buy Me A Tea, or bring a tool for the journey home with you — whether it’s a Hardcover Journal for reflection, an Affirmation Cuff Bracelet to wear your strength, or a Car Diffuser to change the atmosphere while you move.
